Long time no see. I don’t know what prompted me to sign in. However, when I did, I felt slightly alarmed after reading my old posts. My, I’ve changed. Grown is probably a more appropriate word.
I should probably be studying for Chemistry exam, but I just kind of feel like relaxing for a bit. I don’t do that often enough.
So, my life. I just finished filling out my leadership application for the Baptist Collegiate Ministries. I really would love to be a fish parent. I’m not entirely sure how to explain the concept of a fish family. It’s a freshman Bible study, led by a pair of Sophomores(the parents). And that’s what I’m hoping to be next year. Mine have been fantastic.
I also just got done tucking Jacob in. My little brother. Yeah, he’s thirteen. Too old to be tucked in, but he thinks it’s funny, and I think it makes him feel like I care about him. Which I do, annoying as he may be.
School. That’s a big part of my life right now. It takes the majority of my time. But I really enjoy it, and I know that the work will, eventually, pay off. By the way, I really love the University of Florida. I remember being almost depressed by my college decision, but I’m so glad now. And though I used to worry about it, I’ve made plenty of friends. I don’t know how many of them I’ve built much of a relationship with, but hopefully that’s going to change.
As far as my mental state goes… I’m feeling a lot better than I did in high school. Was I really so down on everything? After looking over my old posts, I see that even in the happy periods of my life, I sound so depressed. And young. Well, I’m still young. But you know. I’ve matured a lot over the past year.
David! Another big part of my life. I don’t see him nearly as much as I used to, but we’re dealing with it.
And my relationship with God. Wow. Hasn’t that changed? A little over a year ago, I decided that I would really start committing myself to is relationship that I claimed I had. And it’s grown so much. I’ve been shaped so much as a person. I suppose this is why my mental state has changed so much. Even when I get into what I think of as my “mental slums,” I have a consistent feeling of hope. The joy that God has brought me is fantastic.
To anyone who may happen to read this post, whether you’re a Christian or not: I encourage you to read the Bible. It’s been one of the best things for me. A good source of encouragement and hope.
So I just renamed my blog. Not that it matters very much, because I don’t use it very often. Somehow I Am Still Running didn’t feel right any more though. I guess it’s ‘cause… I don’t know, really. I don’t feel like I’m running from anything any more? Turning Page (inspired by the song Turning Page by Sleeping at Last) seemed much more appropriate. ‘Cause I’m about to start a new chapter of my life. Get it? Plus the song is beautiful and very… accurate. For my current situation. If you could call it that. The only downfall of the song is that it was apparently on the Breaking Dawn soundtrack. Oh well. This is probably very cheesy of me, but I don’t care that much.
“I’ve waited a hundred years, but I’d wait a million more for you. Nothing prepared me for what the privilege of being yours would do.
If I had only felt the warmth within your touch, if I had only seen how you smile when you blush. Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough, well I would have known what I’ve been living for all along… What I’ve been living for.
Your love is my turning page, where only the sweetest words remain. Every kiss is a cursive line, every touch is a redefining phrase.
I surrender who I’ve been for who you are, for nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart. If I had only known how it felt to be yours, well I would have known what I’ve been living for all along… What I’ve been living for.
Though we’re tethered to the story we must tell, when I saw you, well I knew we’d tell it well. With the whisper, we will tame the vicious scenes. Like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees.”
There is a physical component to falling in love — the butterflies in your stomach, the roller coaster in your soul — then there’s an equal physical component to falling out of love. It feels like your lungs are sieves, so you can’t get enough air. Your insides freeze solid. Your heart becomes a tiny, bitter pearl, a chemical reaction to one irritating grain of truth.
Hey there, Tumblr. It’s been a while. Not that I ever personally blogged much anyway. I was more of a reblogger. I don’t really remember where I left off on here. I guess I’ll quickly sum up my life, like I always did before…
I’m attending the University of Florida this fall. I can’t remember if I ever stated that on here. I’ve signed up for my classes, which are Intro to Chem, Precalculus Algebra, What is the Good Life, Geography of Africa, and FYI: Biology at UF. And I passed my AP Lang exam with a 4. Woo-hoo! On the down side, I somehow got a 2 on my AP Human Geo exam, which I thought I aced. I’ve moved into my dad’s house in Gainesville, which is strange, but I’m adjusting. And I’m still dating David, which I can’t remember if I ever talked much about on here. I probably just vaguely stated that I was ridiculously happy or something. Haha. I guess that’s it for the moment.
[And because I finally woke up to that whole realization much too late—the realization that life really happens and there is always a consequence for your actions—I lost everything, in some sense, but in a weird kind of great way, if you flip it all around, I may have gained the most important thing of all: the truth.] I can live with that.